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Today’s Thoughts: March 28, 2013 (Thursday)

Friday, March 29th, 2013

People who die on the toilet are over-thinking. Technically, bombing North Korea would violate an embargo on importing new technology into that state. Denying your anorexia is a big fat lie. To a Jewish girl about to marry a German: “Are you sure he’s your final solution?” Wait, we have predator drones and STILL Michelle Bachman? We can probably scientifically disprove science. The 2011 Japan earthquake shortened Earth days by 1.8 microseconds…there goes my nap. A bunch of gay dudes should totally take over the Republican Party right now — Republicans love politicians with great hair and gay dudes are great at fixing up neighborhoods. “Juggle” is a great word — almost as great as “jiggle”.

Today’s Thoughts: March 15, 2013 (Friday)

Friday, March 15th, 2013

The button people are battling the zipper people for dominance of your crotch. ”First aid ‘kit’!? This is an emergency — first aid should come assembled.” Sorry I was late, my pogo stick jammed. I pause to reflect in front of mirrors. Vietnam was a rough draft. Judging someone based on their marathon performance is racist. I’m not happy about these puns either. I’d love to hear someone jam out to the alphabet song. I’ve got a chord progression for letters A-G you’ll never guess. 50% of the time I ride Amtrak, the train in front hits someone. Break ups cause break downs. Crack downs usually aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. “Redundant backup” is redundant. The one thing I like about rappers is they sing about how they’re rich and getting laid, whereas pop stars are still pretending to be broke and lonely.  ”Yes, I’m Antigonus and I’m from Socho, but I’m not Antigonus of Socho.” I’ve got to turn the shampoo bottle upside down every time? Flipper did a lot for dolphins. The Catholic church IS a secret gay agenda. Why didn’t velcro take over the shoe market? Why aren’t all pant waists elastic? Subway car 2316 has been an enjoyable ride. ”Bada bing” is a great way to build anticipation for your point: you make a statement and bada bing: you conclude. I get the baseball analogy, but comparing sex to going “home” is incestuous. “I gotta hop.” “I gotta run.” “I gotta jump.” No you don’t, you’ve got to go onto other business — don’t get athletic about it.

The Jewish Week: 36 Under 36

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

The following is an excerpt from The Jewish Week, 5/21/08

36 Under 36: The Next Wave of Jewish Innovators

by The Editors

They’re the community’s new young guns — forward-looking rabbis, social-justice junkies, campus crusaders, arts entrepreneurs, bridge-builders, new media mavericks and hedge-funders with heart — who are reshaping the landscape of Jewish life. They’re all grass-roots, bottom-up thinkers and doers who are (mostly) bypassing the Establishment and pushing for change — now. Brace yourselves.

Ari Teman

Pioneering “social volunteering” among young, Jewish professionals

Ari TemanAri Teman was tired of meeting the same group of people at parties. So he founded JCorps, the largest non-denominational Jewish volunteer organization on the continent, open exclusively to 18- to 28-year-olds. The only restriction? That they be single. (But they’re not singles events, he stresses. “We discourage that air of desperation.”)

JCorps volunteers meet, typically on Sundays, to feed the hungry at soup kitchens and food banks and entertain senior citizens at old-age homes and hospitals. Each volunteer receives a custom-designed JCorps shirt, free of charge. “People come for selfish reasons,” he says. “You meet other people, make business connections and get something out of it.”

It’s Charity 2.0 at its best; call it “social volunteering.” After signing up for an event on, Teman and his volunteer team will “friend” you on Facebook or ask that you send a picture. “We want to make sure that you’re not a 40-year-old man,” he says. JCorps uses the same technology that powers Gmail, so the second time you come back to the site to volunteer again, the form will be filled out for you.

Only a year old, JCorps has thousands of volunteers from more than 115 colleges and 300 companies, and is active in almost every state (and more than 20 countries). Teman markets JCorps by posting pictures from past events on Facebook. “More than 30 percent of volunteers show up because they saw a friend’s picture.”

Teman, who owns a consulting firm called 12gurus, regularly puts into practice the Website design, technology savvy and problem-solving skills he gains on the job. Last May, he and his firm raised nearly $500,000 for Meir Panim with an online art auction and wine sale at

He’s a comedian, too. Seriously. Teman is a regular at Broadway Comedy Club and Stand-Up New York. He’s organized several comedy nights to raise money for charity.

Mailbox Full? Teman invented the patent-pending PhoneLobby, which connects supporter’s real phones via the Internet to their governmental representative. The “Callsforjerusalem” campaign used his technology to direct more than 10,000 calls to the White House in support of Israel. It was so successful, the White House’s call center kept dropping calls.

—Tamar Snyder

Online at: Wed, May 21, 2008