Arranging to meet up with a Jewish Girl:
Me: Up for a tour of the west village?
Jewish Girl: Where are we going? A surprise? What’s the surprise? Ok, Let me ask my friends. My friends have already been there. Are we going to do dinner or just drinks? What are we going to do? What should I wear? How should I dress? Can I wear heels? Will we be walking?
Me: I don’t know. Pack for the invasion of North Korea.
Arranging to meet up with a Non-Jewish Girl:
Me: Remember that old warehouse in the news for all those murders? There’s a rusty fence behind it. Lift it up and I’ll meet you in the dark shack behind the bushes.
Arranging to meet up with a Persian Jewish Girl:
Me: Hello, Deloris?
Persian: Shhh, quiet, someone could be bugging our phones. Don’t use my real name.
Persian: That’s a personal question. We can’t meet anywhere near the tri-state area. Persians might see us. Meet me in Bethesda. Don’t take the train. It leaves from Penn Station, Persians go there. Don’t order Okra or talk about Argo, people might get suspicious. Disconnect your Facebook and unplug your toaster just in case.
Me: I’m going to ignore the assorted red flags here and go along with this because you seem sweet.