Basically, Obama’s economic plan works like this:

If you’re good at making money, he’s going to take a lot of it away and give it to someone who isn’t as proficient. Then he’s going to take some of that person’s cash, and give it to someone even worse at making money. So, really, the only way to get paid under Obama is to be a total fuckup.

Obama calls this “Distributing the Wealth”, which is the same term the Soviets used. I guess it sounds scarier in Russian.

I wonder how far this concept goes in Obama’s plan for “change”. If you’re forcing the rich guy to share his wealth with the poor guy, let’s force the attractive guy to marry the ugly chick.

I can see Obama digging that. He’d call it “Distributing the Genes”: Tall people mate with short people, smart people mate with stupid people, and skinny people mate with Walmart shoppers. Of course, we won’t say they’re fat, we’ll say they “distribute the jeans”. (I’ll mate with someone who can resist bad puns.) To help gain support for the initiative, and jump-start the program, it would be legal for women to gang rape Patrick Dempsey.

Actually, that’s too much initiative. They’d just mail ugly women his genetic material. I just did a google-search and it turns out we’re very into artificially inseminating cows (If your steak tastes tense, perhaps it’s because the cows aren’t getting laid.) A search of “artificial insemination of cows” returns almost one million results! Those cow farmers sure have a lot of time on their hands. And also probably a lot of bull gunk. Never shake a cow farmer’s hand.

But I’ve digressed…

Here’s the major problem with Obama’s philosophy: He doesn’t think you can help yourself. In Obama’s world, you don’t make yourself successful; the goverment has to do it for you. Ah, the American Dream. Oh, wait, no, that’s Soviet Russia again.

And the problem with the government solving all your problems (besides that it’s never worked) is “learned helplessness“. Obama is creating a world where you are told you cannot make choices and you’re unable to care for yourself. You have no freedom and no ability. You have no motive for initiative. If you want to know what that’d be like, imagine your entire life took place at the DMV.

If that sounds good, vote Obama.

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Ari Teman, Oct 17, 2008, NYC
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Tags: Politics

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